| * well it certainly has been a long time... |
[20 Dec 2006|08:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
chicago-if you leave me now / the cure-mint car |
] |
for some odd reason i started thinking about journal-ing. and so i thought to myself, hey what ever happened to my livejournal, (as if it could just get up and leave as it pleased). so naturally i tried to log on, and my password was incorrect. i reset it and what not, but its really starting to bother me that i dont know what it was. i bet it was something la.. hold on i have to pee. back. oh and to finish that sentence... something lame.
yea well today was a pretty eventless day. i couuuuld go on and tell you how i had sudden burst of depression, but i wont. because that my freind is what lame is. i seriously need to just get OVER certain things that will just never be.. again. and here i go listening to depressing love songs by chicago. woww. so since i left off so long ago, i will tell you what i have been up to in the past... YEAR?!
since january 2006...
-i lost pretty muchALL contact with one of my BEST "friends".(a boy but we can get into that later okay)
-i turned 18 years old in april.
-i graduated from high school
-i had one of the CRAZIEST summers everrrr.
-i started college in the fall of 06'
-i... i made some pretty large steps in getting over someone.
-i did pretty good in all of my classes
-and perhaps the most important.. i regained my relationship with LJ!
yes... that was my year in a few sentences. ha. NOT @ all a good summary.
till next time,
megan
|
|
| * just to warn you ahead of time... |
[29 Jan 2006|01:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
me sneezing |
] |
ATTN: MAJOR LIVEJOURNAL ENTRY TONIGHT!
haha come on children, lets make livejournal cool again. haaa.
♥ megan
|
|
| * listen and dont trip, i think i need a bottle with a genie in it... |
[09 Jan 2006|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
jamie foxx- unpredictable |
] |
whoa i haven't updated in ages huh? well i feel like writing so here goes. brace yourself.
so what have i been up to? geez i dont even know where i left off. a TON has happened these past few months. in a way im not even me anymore. he took part of me and it just tore my heart into a million little pieces. mending my heart has not been easy. and although i hide it pretty well sometimes... deep down i am just so torn. i dont know any other way to put it. my heart is screaming for help and at the same time my mind is just telling me to get over it. i know i dont need him, i know that im okay. i just dont understand. i dont think i ever really got closure. like even still damn idk. i dont talk to john anymore. i thought it would be a lot better (for me at least) if we werent friends. i wanna talk about it but i dont even know where to begin. im okay. he lost, NOT me. whatev.
so yea mine and jess christmas party, new years, meeting new people, texas winning the rose bowl, and geez just the whole winter break was AWESOME. i cant wait to graduate, high school is such a load of crap and im finally realizing it. worst of all im sure im gonna miss that load of crap hahaa. yea meeting new people this break was nice. i probably did a lot of stupid things this break. idk it seems like i try to deal with problems and get over things the wrong way. i dont know, im just REAL confused right now and i really cannt explain it. i felt like this journal entry was gonna be long but hahah i feel like i cant talk to my livejournal anymore. agh this is so wierd. i miss the way things were.
oh yea and gee wizz... favorites and coronets is all in the SAME night wtf. hmm who shall i take?! i dont even wanna think about it man. okay well im gonna go i cant talk about all this bs anymore.
♥ megan renee
|
|
| * sometimes there is only so much we can do... |
[14 Nov 2005|11:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
system of a down - byob |
] |
i know this is long but i need SOMEONE anyone to just listen and help me!
life has been really hard this semester. i say semester because summer was pretty fun and not stressful. and last year was just, shoot it might as well have been life in disney land. this year reality hit me. reality... yea it sure does bite. maybe reality is what we need, maybe thats what marks the end of growing up. last year i thought i knew everything, i thought that no matter what mistakes i made then... my life would go where i wanted it to go no matter what. i was surely wrong. this year is going by so fast, and everyday i encounter more challenges than i have faced my whole life. ive always heard that "senior year is the BEST year of your life" and im sure it is. but i think that im starting to realize its not the best year because of parties, slacking off, and fun.... but its the best year of our lives because we are finding who we truely are. not who we think we are. many of us are exploring things that we hadn't explored ever before. but its hard, it is so hard. i feel like im just hanging on by a thread right now and tonight i realized that that piece of thread is a lot thicker than i ever thought it was. i realized tonight that i am a lot more that i make myself out to be and i can do a lot better than i think i can.
tonight lets just say that i realized i am NOT the one losing... he is. and i could say so much more.. but id rather not get into it right now.
♥ megan
|
|
| * A - S - T - R - O - S ! ! ! |
[19 Oct 2005|11:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my humps |
] |
today is like the best day of my life, almost.
the astros won the astros won.... were goin to the world series omg!!!
yea but i dont have time to say anything else right now!
♥ megan
|
|
| * it gets harder and harder every day... |
[09 Oct 2005|01:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dierks bentley - come a little closer baby |
] |
i havent updated in a while, but i thought maybe now would be a good time to.
life is really hard for me right now, i dont know where i am or what im going to do. i miss john very very much, and i wish things would just be okay again. i love him so much and this is so hard for me. im trying to be strong but i just cant. if im in a bad mood, or offend anyone in any way im really sorry im just having a really difficult time right now, and i REALLY need my friends more than i ever have. thanks guys, i love yall :(
come a little closer baby
i feel like layin you down
an a bed of sweet surrender where we
can work it all out
there ain't nothin that love can't fix
girl it's right here at our finger tips
so come a little closer baby
i feel like layin you down
some a little closer baby
i feel like lettin go
of everything that stand between us
and the love we used to know
i wanna touch you like a crimson robe
and let it wash all youu hurt away
so come a little closer baby
i feel like lettin go
if there's still a chance than take my hand
and we'll steal away
off into the night
until we make things right
the sun's gonna rise, on a better day
.... i love him so much :(
</3 megan
|
|
| * felt like a lifetime... |
[05 Sep 2005|01:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 grateful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
better than ezra - lifetime |
] |
this past week i have really learned to set aside my wants, and focus on only asking for what i really need. there are thousands upon thousands of people who have nothing but the clothes on their back, i really shouldn't ask for another pair of shoes when i have over 50... i cant stop watching CNN even though it makes me cry. the other night i called jess crying because they showed an old lady who died in her wheelchair, and she was just covered in a blanket. next to her was a body wrapped in a white blanket. i dont understand why this is happening. why are so many people just dying, and no ones stopping it. it breaks my heart so hear these stories of families who lost their mother and had to watch her drown, helpless. i wish there was more that i could do than just donate money, i wish i could directly help these people and take away their pain. i cannot imagine coming home to nothing but a concrete foundation. i cannot imagine losing someone i loved the way these people are. i know that everything happens for a reason, we need to see how much we really have and how fast it can be taken away. its so sad that a country with so much power can just watch their people die in masses. its so sad that when any other country needs help, we run to play superman and the day we need help, we cant get it. this is making me so depressed ill stop.
tonight i went to michael hunters dinner thing with john, and then we went to his house to play poker with; michael, jennifer, zack, krista, joseph, and derrick. i did really good. work has been wonderful, its a lot of fun. i love the people i work with, they are so awesome. school is pretty good, its pretty easy. john and i are better than ever. our 10 month anniversary is in 5 days. its almost going to be 1 year, wow. however i must say this has been the best 10 months ever.... :) i love him so much i cannot even express it into you in words. he is my best friend, being with him is so blissful. i love you john <3<3<3
god bless all the people who didn't survive hurricane katrina. god bless those who lost loved ones, lost their homes, and please give them hope and strengh to get through this horrible tragedy.
♥ megan
|
|
| * because im mr. a - z they say im all about the wordplay... |
[19 Aug 2005|05:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 EXTREMELY happy i <3 john |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
JASON MRAZ!! - wordplay and hey love |
] |
1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )
yea so anyways that was cuute. um school is wonderful i love it. me and john have 3 classes so we get to help each other and stuff. i love him x873482374. yea soo dual credit english is fabulous so far, ive been writing TONS of essays but i love the class and i like the writing practice. i like mrs boswell i think shes so cute. we are reading beowulf, its kinda a hard book but oh well. we get to go to del mar next week or something lmao to get our school ids and library passes cause we can use their facilities, since technically we are del mar students hahaha isnt that funny.
work is going good, im having so much fun there. i really like the managers, they are super cool. and its funnn to work with natalie, and aj.. haha and caylem is cool even thought he STEALS MURPHYS SOCCER BALL!.. murphy is the moose hanging on the wall by the way. but everyone i work with is fun as well. i heart abercrombie though, its better than academy x 37482134. i like getting to wear what i want, its nice.
okay well im sure your real bored by now soo... im gonna let you go ahh yay i get to hang out with john tonight <3<3
♥ megan
|
|
| * goodbye summer of 05'... |
[14 Aug 2005|06:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the tv |
] |
well at first summer was going by real slow, and after 4th of july it zoomed by so fast. its sad to say that today is the last day, of the last summer of our childhood. i never really thought id say, i wish i would never grow up. as each day passes, i find myself bombarded with more and more responsibilites. i face many decisions that i now have to make by myself. i think thats the scary part, i have to make my own decisions. these are decisions that my future may depend on.
this past year has been awesome. i honesly found who i was, or who i want to be. i realized that the one person i pushed away for so long, was always the one person who i wish i could keep forever. i realized that no matter how much fun high school is, the parties can only be remembered... but your grades will haunt you forever lol. i realized that no matter how much you want to forgive people for the scars they have left you, sometimes pretending is all you can do. i realized it's okay to have tons of "friends", but very few REAL friends who you can trust... and sometimes it's okay to be the only person you trust. it's okay to let loose and be wild sometimes, it's okay to let someone see who you truly are. it's okay to cry in front of your boyfriend, even if he's the one who hasn't caused you pain... he can always make it better.
thinking back on this summer is so sad. i had the best summer of my life, and i have my friends and john to thank. im going to miss waking up @ 10 in the morning for a straight month and going ALL THE WAY downtown to bring john lunch. but it was nice seeing him all dressed up in khakis and polos for work. im gonna miss going bowling with him and sometimes lupe or other people... like twice a week. im gonna miss our summer nights where we would just stay out, and it felt like it was just us. this is the year i've waited for my whole life. this is gonna be the best year of our life...
i love john michael mendez.
♥ megan
|
|
| * ive got soul but im not a soldier... |
[09 Aug 2005|11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
john on the phone |
] |
yea so ive been super duper busy lately with football and this senior sister thing. its been very stressful but oh well. like idk when i thought of it, i wasnt thinking anyone else would want to do it with me, but turns out i was way wrong. so thanks to everyone for their input and help. my little sisters are allison andrews and leanna (idk last name) but they seem really cool, and they are super cute. i havent really talked to leanna much, but allison and i talked and we have tons of stuff in common. we're having initiation tomorrow morning which should be fun!! if ive been bitchy or bossy to anyone at all i am really sorry, im just stressin. but i am way excited for this, i really think we're helping these girls a lot.
today i worked for my first day from 11-4. abercrombie actually is a lot of fun to work at. the managers are really, really nice and i got to work the cash register!!! haha that was a lot of fun, but at first i had trouble doing the sensormatic thing, its kinda tricky. so bascially i detailed stuff, but stickers on new shirts, fitting rooms for people, and the cash register. so yea i work again saturday from 5-close so come see me!
omg i just realized tomorrow (the tenth) is mine and johns 8 months. ive been so busy that i almost forgot. aww i love him sooo much and he has been so supportive through all of this. i really couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend, even if he is a big baby sometimes. i love him with all of my heart ♥ ♥
♥ megan
|
|
| * lets go back, back to the beginning... back to when the earth, the sun, stars all aligned. |
[31 Jul 2005|06:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
laguna beach season 1/ and incubus |
] |
this weekend was pretty good. jess came with me and my family to good ol' san antonio. friday we went to sea world, which i had never been to so it was fun. i really liked the shows, and the rollercoasters... and the calmer environment versus the loud fiesta texas feeling. it was so nice because at first it was hott, and i was going to faint but then we had lunch and the clouds rolled in and the sprinkles came down. oh gosh we went to this 4D theatre where they showed "the haunted lighthouse". it was so fun, we wore these glasses (pics below), and the movie was so cool cause the back of the seats had like air and water sprayers... and so like when someone in the movie would spit or spill water, or waves would crash... we would get all wet. it was so wierd!! and then like there was one part where rats were falling off of a ledge, and the air pressure made it feel like there were rats on us. hahha but it was such an awesome experience. it started to get really cool and not too sunny so i enjoyed the rest of the evening. i absolutely love san antonio though. so we ate, went to the hotel and just relaxed. i even went to be with my hair wet. that was really nice to do. it was so nice to be away from corpus. so saturday we woke up real early, got ready and headed off to northstar where me and jess went shopping. i bought some t-shirts from hollister. i didnt really see the sense in buying their jeans and polos, considering they look the same as abercrombie and i can get them cheaper her with my discount. so i just bought cute hollister shirts, and their perfume. but yea we went to sephora, saks, steve madden store, forever 21, aeropostale (which i didnt really like their clothes), the coach store, um gosh i cant even remember all the stores we went to. there were tons among tons of people. after that we ate, and headed back to home. last night was fun, i wont really get into that though. lets see so today i woke up super early, went to orientation @ abercrombie which was pretty cool. the manager is really nice. yea so that was fun. and then i came home, hopped into bed and watched laguna beach season 1... well some of it. and then i fell asleep, and awoke to johns phone call (which is ALWAYS nice). he is coming back from houston at the moment. yea and so here i am, bored. i have to wake up @ 5:30 tomorrow morning, for football. okay well ill leave you with some pictures.
( san antonio )
yea there were more but thats all im gonna give you for now. okay bye guys.
♥ megan
|
|
| * just a small town girl living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere... |
[29 Jul 2005|02:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
journey - dont stop believing |
] |
well lets see tomorrow im going to san antonio with my sister and her bf, and jessica is coming!! we are going to sea world, and lots of shopping. we might even hang out with jose and santiago since they are in s.a. right now too! i love san antonio, i hope we get to go eat at dicks. and we are so going to northstar mall i cant wait. ill be back saturday evening.
oh yea i got a job at abercrombie, i know i probably wont get many hours... but trust me i dont want too many hours haha. natalie said ill probably work a lot during back to school, and tax free weekend. i have orientation on sunday. well hopefully this shall be fun. hey and discounts always sound good to me :)
tonight i got to see rachael that was fun. and of course the rest of the gang. im getting excited for football. on monday my summer is kinda over for the most part. well starting monday i have to wake up @ 5:30 in the got damn morning. oh well, it gets fun to make fun of the guys when they fall and scratch their balls. trust me, me and rachael see it ALL. right adriana.. i know you do too. one word... disqusting. but you gotta love them. okay im off to pack and get ready for tomorrow!!
♥ megan
|
|
| * honey you are the rock upon which i stand and ive come here to talk, i hope you understand... |
[27 Jul 2005|06:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
coldplay |
] |
yea so summer is coming to an end kinda. im just an optimistic person so im constantly telling myself... NO you still have a while left. whatever, i dont care about school starting, im not like "OMG NO I HATE SCHOOL". its senior year, i think it'll be fun. yesterday me, sarah, and jessica went to the beach. at first we had trouble getting on top of the picnic table things @ bob hall... but we finally did. and then we had trouble getting sun, cause it wasnt really out. and as the clouds rolled back... ta da the sun was shining hard on us. then sarah decides she wants to eat that big ass cookie she brough... so then it gets real messy hahaha and it ended up all over her back and it looked gross and the got damn seagulls were like all hovering on us and jessica HATES seagulls so she freaked out and then sarah started SCREAMING really loud and they went away :) yay for sarah! so that was fun and then we went home and i went to my interview @ abercrombie which was really fast. and then i went to attack jessica and wake her lazy ass up... and she did. then i went home and became a lazy ass and i took a nap! so after my nap i hung out with adriana and her bro and steph for a while. hahaha that was real fun. and then me and jess hung out for a while... and then i went home. i talked to my friend robert garza from carroll for a while. he is a great advice giver/reciever. yea hes such a great friend, i love that kid.
so today i woke up finally and got ready, went tanning... and then me and ashley went to get chick-fil-a and talked to josh lopez while he pretended to wipe tables. hes a big dog now he wears a tie. and then we drove around and saw like 23984 yellow cars.. so we hit each other. if you know me... you dont like to play that game seeing as i kinda hit hard :) poor ashley. no poor jessica who is in the car with me 99.8 % of the time. im kinda toasty right now... like not burnt just toasted. tonight i think im going to cole park @ 9 to hang out with everyone from YL or whoever goes. this shall be fun... and i get to see tracy so thats always wonderful. then who knows whats next. john is like @ the king ranch or by the king ranch with his family hunting right now. so i cant hang out with him today. maybe tomorrow. i hate how i let my self stress out over the dumbest things. idk like nothings wrong i just find little things to worry about and i hate it. i feel so bad because i make john think im really upset about stuff, and its just i kinda have a tendency to take a sitation and really stretch it to where it makes me realllllllllly sad. and i kinda think about it and im like why am i doing this... but i cant help it. i need to go do all this dual credit shiznit tomorrow. ugh, i dont want summer to end. i like summer. i love john. verrrry much.
♥ megan
|
|
| * luxurious like egyptian cotton, we know how to live baby... look im livin like a queen. |
[25 Jul 2005|03:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
gwen stefani - luxurious |
] |
last night i had a blast. me and john hung out for a while and then we went bowling!! haha thats like our favorite thing to do. dang we bowled for a long time last night. i was doing pretty good at first... i was almost beating him. and one game i got 3 strikes but john got 4 haha. bitch ass hoe. anyways it was so fun but my luck started to run out and i didnt feel good, so john bought me a drink and i felt better. so we kept playing and it was kinda like starting to just be us there. and john made me laugh cause he did the fred flinstone twinkle toes thing. aww i love my john. yea last night i even made him put up with listening to gwen stefani AND me sing... he was okay with it :) thats my boy. he knows better. and then we both sang like every single song on the los lonely boys cd at the top of our lungs hahah it was funny, we were trying to out do each other. i was sad cause his little brother joshua didnt go bowling with us, i like when he goes with us its funny. AND we get to use the bumper guards when joshua comes... not that i need them or anything cause im good (except for that one night where i did bad). yea so anyways that was funnn.
oh god my room is a disaster right now. but not for long!! anyways my room is next to the office right?... well yea it is. and the office is bascially my room too... so ive always told my parents to knock down the wall in between so i can have a really big room. at last... the wall is gone. this whole thing will be done in approximately 2-3 weeks. we still have to paint and a lot of stuff. and yea a lot of stuff. but im so excited cause were gonna make a new closet, and its gonna be really big. FINALLY i will have somewhere to put my 87234 million pairs of shoes :) and all my damn purses and all that crap. my closet, was just not big enough no no. i think im gonna be one of those obsessive compulsive people (like my mom) and put all my shoes in boxes and have the picutre of the shoe on the front. ive always thought that was a good idea, and put them in shelves. but then again, im the biggest procrastinator youll ever meet... and the most impatient as welll. i think im gonna get this cute couchy thing from pottery barn. its super cute, but its blue. yea ill let you know how this whole thing goes when its done... maybe even post some pictures.
oh okay well my senior pictures WERE this friday, however i rescheduled them for august 12th @ 2:30 pm. so im wearing an off the shoulder black shirt with pearls, traditional you know. im gonna trim my hair, but i dont think im getting bangs till AFTER senior pics. cause i think its more "me" if i dont have bangs right? or should i get bangs for my senior pics. like the bangs i used to have... the side swept ones. this is hard. well im going tanning, so lets hope im tan by then lol. shopping this week!! yessss. oh no and two-a-days start august 1st, bright and early. i hate/love football time. i hate practice, love the games. the boys are actually looking real good. varsity is practicing when they dont have to ::jaw drop:: omg! haha yea its a miracle but they are gonna be a lot better. they said "no more 2-8 season". and apparently all the other schools are starting off fresh, so this shall be interesting. okay hair fixing time! who wants to hang out before summer is over?!?!
♥ megan
|
|
| * ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me... |
[23 Jul 2005|04:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
early november and the used |
] |
haha tonight was a lot of fun... sushi, poker, driving around, joseph and the damn saran wrap, playing idiot, trying to abduct john, late night visitors, taco bell...it was fun. okay what the fuck me and jessica have been awake trying to download this got damn gwen stefani song - cool. i love this song and i just wanted to fucking hear it... so finally after like 10 times of downloading it and it it not working... it finally works. however... the damn song was in DUTCH. i have had the worst night seriously. okay i wont lie this night has been AWESOME.
okay this might have not really been the best week... but in a way its been good. ive figured out a lot in a way but im okay though... i really am okay. love is so hard... but so worth it. i really love john with every piece of my heart. sometimes we dont quite understand each other but its ok, thats what love is about. these bast 3 years i have gotten to know such an awesome, goofy, determined, talented, loving boy.. no MAN. ive watched him grow up so much, and i love what i see. hes stubborn, very much. so am i though. i could just go on and on and on. idk its wierd.. ever since i layed eyes on this kid, that first day of school, 6th pd in mr hardins class... i just knew. i just knew that i would fall in love with him. no matter how impossible that is... i knew. i really did. every day we spend together is just amazing. no matter what we do, i just fall deeper in love with him. its almost like im helpless... i cant stop myself. i cant figure out love, its so wierd. it makes you do crazy things, like it takes over my mind sometimes. haha that sounds so crazy, but idk its like my heart and my mind tell me two different things sometimes, and my heart takes over my brain. i love john so much. so so much. i hope he knows just how much. im so crazy.... crazy in love. <3<3<3 ahh ::blushes::
i dont know what this year is going to be like. crazy im so sure. we are seniors (well most of us) this is really going to be the best year of our life. i have so much to look foward to, we all do. this year is going to be awesome... i cant wait. football games, pep rallys, basketball, baseball, no taks test, college, our LAST homecoming, we are never gonna make mums again after this year (well maybe in like 20 years for our kids), last favorites, prom, graduation. goodbyes :( oh man and then we are free. this is scary. okay me and jess really need to go to sleep now. be sure and comment now ;)
♥ you guys, megan
|
|
| * save it for your momma... |
[18 Jul 2005|04:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shake it off |
] |
1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. i will tell you something only the two of us will understand.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. Put this in your journal
|
|
| * everything means nothing if i aint got you... |
[15 Jul 2005|02:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy in love |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
alicia keys - if i aint got you / and the rain |
] |
you know, maybe if i went to sleep more often, you would see less of my sad little post that dont really matter to anyone in the first place lol. i really need to stop thinking about everything so much, and stop what-if'ing so much. have you ever been so in love with someone that it scares the buhjesus out of you? thats how i feel. i think the rain makes me think about a lot of things too, cause it relaxes me. well were cleaning out my room because we're painting my bedroom set all white, cause its kinda off white so i told my mom we needed to paint it before my obessive compulsive self has a heart attack... ok well anyways, i found mine and johns favorites pictures from FRESHMAN YEAR. omg we have grown up so much, sooo much. we were just little babies... who have now grown on each other, and in love. i dont know what god has in store for my future... or who is meant to be for me. i have no clue at all, duh im not god. but i know that i am so thankful for john. i thank god every night for john, and the love he has shown me. i thank god for everyday i have with him... and just pray for the best. i dont know if we will still be together next month, next year.. and so on, but i have finally come to just be grateful for what god gives me, even if it isnt forever. i have all my faith in the lord that he will lead me to the road that i need to go down. and i know that the sun always shines OOH OOH after the rain!! haha love it.
well anywho... i could not have ever asked for a better boyfriend. i am just baffled by how much john cares for me. john really helped me to see that i shouldnt drink, smoke, or any of that bad stuff. he has helped me to understand so many things, like when i was really hurt and confused. ah it just makes me wanna cry that god gave me something that makes me so happy... how the hell can people say that there is no god, when we have millions of people on this earth who are walking proof.
i just want john to know that i care about him so much... through ups and downs i will always love him. no matter what the future brings, even if it doesnt bring us together... i will always love him with all of my heart, and i will always be here for him and he will always be my best friend. all i can do now is put my faith in god and what he has in store for us, and i can only hope and pray. oh man will i pray.
i am just so on fire for god right now... like i am just crying and thanking him up and down. ahh man this is wonderful, i am just so happy beyond words right now. i know that god is the one person i can always count on to listen to me and my emotional self... and who will never let me down. guys just pray for me, that my heart only grows more in god. and i am already praying for everyone else.. and their relationships with god. i love yall so much.
♥ megan
|
|
| * gotta shake, shake you off... |
[14 Jul 2005|01:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shake it off - mariah carey |
] |
oh well this has been a wierd couple of days. idk why but ill not get too much into it.
me and john hung out tonight, it was fun. i hadnt seen him in a few days so it was nice.
i love that kid so much ahhh stab me with a fork. i need a sleeping pill so i can go to sleep. im not tired anymore, like ever... it sucks. and i need to wake up early to go to the athletic club but i have a feeling im not going to want to.
sometimes i feel like no one really knows me anymore. like i mean reallllly know me. i dont really tell people a lot of things anymore. i think the only personn i really tell everything to is john, but i dont like that. i used to be more open idk. ill just shake it off, i wish it was just that easy to just shake everything off.
movie night @ morgans was fun the other night, we have to do that again!!!
oh i almost forgot, please pray for my knee because its getting really bad again. like all today i couldnt really walk a lot cause it was hurting real bad, id rather not describe the pain. asprin and a knee brace are starting to be worthless so pray pray pray... cause i dont want surgery ouch.
i love john!!
♥ megan
|
|
| * happiness is something we create... |
[11 Jul 2005|01:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm and cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
john mayer |
] |
you know one thing that constantly baffles me is happiness. i am constantly trying to figure out what it is, how to keep it, and what creates it. today i had a lot of moments that awnsered all of my questions. many moments that made me so happy.
1- i woke up this morning... and i was alive (good so far eh?)
2- there was a roof over my head
3- my best freind was right next to me
4- i have a family who loves, and cares about me :)
5- me and john have been together for 7 wonderul months
6- me and john have been very good friends for about 3 years now
7- i have a car
8- i have money in my pocket
9- i saw 10 people get baptised
10- i have awesome friends
11- i got to hang out with my aunt, uncle, and little cousin and make bday party decorations
12- i have 100s of other reasons to be happy but cant list them all
13- i have god in my life :) best reason of all huh?
im tired of taking things for granted, im glad i saw everything in a different way today. we should be grateful for everything we have, even the smallest things, like the food on your table, the cup you drink out of.. everything that someone else might not have. today turned out to be a good day.
♥ megan
|
|
| * you got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat... |
[10 Jul 2005|11:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved and in love |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tbs- bike scene |
] |
well this weekend sure has been eventfull hasn't it. friday... hahah omg friday was the best but im not even going to post about that. just know... it was the funniest night ever... nuff said. last night i played putt putt with all of my so dearly missed friends like, noranda, morgan, whitney, brandon and bennett, ricky, kim, john m.w., brad and jordan, austin, and whoever else was there i dont rememeber. oh well johnny and tomas came too with whitney. and then we went to katies, and i got to see brittany, ashley, andrew, and geera too! that was fun, i missed them all so much. um then me and jess went swimming haha that was fun, and we got to see hoffy, justin, and robert AGAIN gosh. i saw rachael too, that was fun. then we went back to swimming. yea there were lost of details left out but get over it.
today is 7 months for me and john. damn 7 months is a long time to me. it feels more like 7 years haha. i love john with every thing i have. we have our moments, of course. sometimes we dont agree, so we argue. then we get over it. theres just something about our fights that dont make them fights lol, like theres actually so much love and passion even when we argue its wierd. ugh love kinda annoys me sometimes, i get all googly... and i kinda stop and slap myself for it. im like megan stop it! but i cant help it.. i love him so much and it is the best feeling in the world to know that he loves me just as much. ahh. i can only hope that these 7 months at least double. maybe even triple haha. i love you john!!! verrrrry verry much. ::sigh::
♥ megan
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cheermeg16's journal